Bread Happens. Or - Let Them Eat Toothfish

My husband is AWESOME. Seriously. THE BEST. 

Not only did he buy me new jogging shoes for my birthday, he also took me out of town to a nice hotel, gave me a spa day, and made reservations for us to eat at a very trendy (read: expensive) restaurant. And then, after all that, he took me to a movie. (I LOVE going to the movies.)

Best. Birthday. EVER.

Pre-massage. Note the posh interior.

 

Pedicure was last, after the massage and the facial.

Windows look over a beautiful, peaceful garden. So serene.

I can't show you a picture of the massage or the facial because, duh, I was too busy relaxing and getting massaged and facial-ed to take pictures. The massage therapist was terrific, by the way! Great hands. (I can say this without it being weird because I used to be a massage therapist.) Anyway - strangely, my left shoulder blade area was super tense, and also the lower left leg. This confused us at first but then it occurred to me: There is a 25-lb reason why the left side of my body is more tense than the right. Yep, it's my grandson! I watch him nearly every day and I hold him on the left almost always because I'm right-handed! Mystery solved.

I really enjoyed the pedicure, too. At this spa the pedicure chairs are all set up in this long room, and directly across from the chairs are windows overlooking a lush garden. That's quite a thoughtful touch, isn't it? Most places, when you get a pedicure, you're either staring at other people across from you getting pedicures, or else you're looking into the salon watching people get their nails and/or hair done. I loved looking out at the garden during the pedicure. And while I was there, it rained! It was so lovely and peaceful and pampering, and the rain was just perfect.....I was so happy. I know where I'll be going for a pedicure next time!

After all the massaging and soothing music and pampering, hubby whisked me away to a fancy hotel, and then a fancy dinner. We went for seafood at a chic (read: pricey) restaurant. 

I had Chilean Sea Bass. Wikipedia says there's no such thing, that it's actually called a Toothfish, but restaurants call it Chilean Sea Bass because it sounds so much better than Toothfish. Here is a Wikipedia picture of the Toothfish (A.K.A. my dinner): 

No, my dinner didn't look like that. It was just the meat, which was white, tender, and a just a little sweet. I loved it! 

Because I'd had nothing to eat since a small protein shake at breakfast, by dinnertime, I was starving. Alas, they serve bread before dinner at this restaurant. I was so hungry I ate a few pieces. (Yes, I logged my calories!) I hate it when that happens.

After dinner we went to see "Pacific Rim" in IMAX 3-D. If you haven't seen this movie, you need to! Especially in IMAX 3-D: you feel like you are IN the movie. The screen takes up your whole field of vision, so the 3-D special effects really pop out at you. Plus the size of the monsters and the robots seems so much more....amazingly huge in IMAX. And the sound system! AWESOME!!! A couple of times at non-IMAX movies lately I've been unhappy with the sound systems; it seems that some movie theaters are afraid to turn up the volume. (Maybe they are. Maybe if they turned the sound up too much they'd blow out their cheap speakers.) I had nothing to worry about last night! The sound quality at that theater was SO amazing! I could go on and on about how much fun it was to see "Pacific Rim" in IMAX 3-D, but really, you probably should just go and experience it for yourself. You won't regret it. And hopefully when you blog about it, you'll do a much better job than I have here.


 

Birthday Shoes! Weight Loss! Squats In A Museum!

So, hey, I'm turning 44 tomorrow. Yay! Is it weird that I've been reminiscing about my teenage years lately?....please tell me I'm not the only one. 

Been a pretty good week around here! Did I mention it's my birthday tomorrow? My hubby is awesome, he took me out today to get some NEW jogging shoes. Here they are: 

Purple and "citron," which really means "fluorescent greeny-yellow" and not lemon, like you'd think.

The girl at the running store totally sized up my feet just by looking at them. The last time I had shoes fitted at a running store, they had me get on a treadmill and watched me jog before making a recommendation. This girl today did pretty much THE SAME THING by eyeballing my feet - she said the same thing the other guys did! (If you're interested - I have a medium arch and a minor problem with pronating, or the feet turning slightly inward.) 

Also, the weight loss is continuing! I'm down over 20 lbs now!!! Don't know the exact number, because, well, I was so horrified at how big I was that I didn't weigh myself until I was several weeks into my eating / working out program. At that point I guesstimated my weight at 180. Realistically it was more. This week I'm down to 168. I really do think my heaviest weight was close to 190 or even slightly more...I mean, I was wearing size 18 clothes, for Pete's sake! 

But okay, I'll take the "official" twelve pounds down. That's fine too. I'm not a size 18 anymore either.

So, I think I may have mentioned this thing I signed up for - the Spartan Race. 

There is NO FREAKING WAY I will look anywhere near this awesomely cool crawling under barbed wire.

Did you know I signed up for this? It's true, I did. Much as it looks like it's all about crawling in the mud under barbed wire, you won't believe it, but that's not the only thing you do in this race. Apparently there's a lot of running. Jogging. Going up and down hills. (Possibly rock climbing as well.) Anyway - the course is 8+ miles (Dear God In Heaven, please don't make the "plus" part more than a couple miles! Amen) so there will be some running or jogging involved. Which means, duh, I will have to jog. At least a little. 

Did I mention my knee didn't like jogging a few years ago? And that I stopped jogging for awhile? Yeah, it's true! Now I'm trying to get back to jogging again, and at the same time, trying to strengthen the knee so it will be okay with the jogging. I may have mentioned this.

Anyway - on the recommendation from one of my support group friends (Sparkpeople!!!! Yeah!!!!), I started a "Couch to 5K" program - C25K for short, which is cute when you say it Cee Two Five Kay, and not when you say, Cee Twenty-Five Kay like a dummy (like I did at first). I'm in the second week of this 5-week program. And Yes! Hooray! Jogging is happening! For real! Okay, it's really slow jogging, and it's intermittent, but hey, it's a starting point!!! 

Tonight I completed my second week / 6th walk/jog workout on the program, and I have to say: I am, indeed, starting to see a difference. I am getting stronger, the legs are getting more adapted to running, and the knee isn't complaining much. Sooooo happy about this! 

In between walk/jog workouts I like to do the classes at the gym. Here is a picture of me with my favorite instructor. She's super cute and super mean at the same time. I asked if I could take her picture with me and when I said I would call her "The Wicked Witch of the West" on this blog, she cheerfully obliged. 

The Wicked Witch on the left. I'm on the right. She is SO cute, amiright?

 
This is the same instructor who offers to give a free punch in the stomach to first-time CX Works participants, just so they'll know what they're in for with this terrible, terrible core workout. Surprisingly no one has yet to take her up on this offer.

And, in homage to all the squats we do in the BodyPump class, I took this picture of some ancient wooden statue from Africa. It looks like this lady is doing a squat. I don't know why it's the least bit interesting. Maybe I think it's funny there's a statue of a squatting woman in an actual museum. 

Why? Why are they squatting? Do they have bad knees too?

I get this same look on my face during squats

 




 

 

View from a Treadmill

Several years ago, when I was training for a half-marathon, I hated the treadmill. Hated it. I was a treadmill snob: "I run outdoors, thanks. The view is better." The treadmill was only to be used as a back-up plan, the emergency indoor workout when outside was too wet, too thunderstorm-y, too icy, or during summer when there was no way I was getting up at 4 am to run in the cooler, 80-degree pre-dawn. Nope. Treadmills were B-O-R-I-N-G.

Well, here I am now, quite a bit fatter and in terrible, terrible shape, and now, guess what? The treadmill is my friend. True, the view isn't as spectacular as running outside - you don't get the vast expanse of blue skies with puffy white clouds, you don't have tall rustling trees and birdsong, there are no curious horses pricking up their ears as you come huffing over a hill.  You may not get these things, but what you get that I am Eternally Grateful for is this: Air conditioned comfort and a machine that keeps track of the time and calories. It's just what I need, for now.  

Here are some views - and observations - from the treadmill.

Ellipticals and the gym entry. Also, the cardiac rehab center is just over there. And if anything is going to make me feel like more of a schlub, it's those folks over there in cardiac rehab. They have actual, verifiable heart conditions. I have an eating condition and a laziness condition. Seriously.

The weight machines. You can't really tell what the lady in the yellow looks like because, duh, I was on a treadmill attempting to take pictures around me - but the lady in yellow is my new hero. She is about five-foot-nothing and bristling with muscles. I watched her on the fly machine - she put on 5 stacks of weights. FIVE. Dang. I am totally intimidated and totally inspired: I want to Be. Her.

The fitness class area. Right now they're doing Bodypump. If I weren't on the treadmill I'd be in that room. I hate the exercise they're doing right now; you have to use bands and get them on just the right way and do these killer lunges. It's hard to keep your balance AND keep the bands from whipping off and snapping your legs. Fun times. 

Since I am apparently unable to run (eh, jog - sllllooooowwwwwly) for more than five minutes at a time, I am doing this C25K program (Couch To 5K - that's cute, right, the acronym?) which involves mostly walking with some intermittent jogging. Hence, the treadmill. I do this 3 times a week. The other 3 days I do something low-impact - like Bodypump or a water aerobics class. 

After the treadmill I do the elliptical. 

My attempt to remain hidden behind rows of people on the ellipticals is foiled when all the other people LEAVE. That means, the nursery - right there! Clear glass! - has a direct view out onto the gym. Luckily the windows aren't full-length. If they were my little grandson would've seen me, and then it's Goodbye machine, hello screaming baby.

 While on the elliptical I could hear the occasional screech from the nursery. I know this screech quite well. It's my grandson's happy screech of joy. Hooray for a new place with new toys to play with!  Just wish the baby could be happy without the random, piercing, parrot-like screeches.

I Just Paid for the Spartan. Now what?

Remember when you were a kid, and your friends dared you to jump off the high dive at the pool? And you finally agreed, and you went out there in the chlorinated air and climbed that aluminum ladder, all those bathing-suited kids above you, everyone dripping, and you got to the top - white diving board, blue sky, hot sun on your back - and you went to the end of that diving board, and you could see how deep and blue the roped-off water looked so far below you, but then you just closed your eyes and cannon-balled it?  

I don't think this is exactly like that. But in a way it's similar. Jumping into a chlorinated pool from 10 feet above the water while a lifeguard watches is not normally a death-defying experience (even if it feels that way to your 8-year-old self). Sitting here in the comfort of my home, signing up for the Spartan doesn't feel like it's death-defying either, until you read all the disclaimers - Warning! YOU MIGHT DIE!!! Warning! You might drown! Warning! You could suffer animal bites! Lose layers of skin! Break one or several bones! Get mowed down by large moving vehicles! Collapse from a heart attack! YOU REALLY REALLY MIGHT DIE! But since you might die, and we are telling you YOU PROBABLY WILL, you agree to not sue us, ever, forever, no matter what. Good luck!!!

Worst. Idea. EVER. I don't even know why I'm doing this anymore, except that I need motivation to go to the gym. 

And that's how you look certain death in the eye, my friend! With absolute, unyielding, boundless self-doubt and terror. 

What can I say, that's just how I roll. 

Here's one of the founders of the Spartan race. 

It's a nice video. 

There isn't any death in this video, Thank God!
 

Faster than a Galapagos Tortoise

 

The great thing about technology is this: With just a few clicks, I can find out interesting facts about the Galapagos Tortoise, which I knew was a slow-moving creature, but until today I had no idea just. how. slow. that could be. 

Did you know it would take over six hours for a Galapagos Tortoise to go one mile? For real. I'm assuming that it would take a fair amount of motivation, as well. Food perhaps, or an especially sexy Tortoise of the opposite gender to wink knowingly and urge the poor beast along.

Hormonal tortoises aside, did you know it didn't take me six hours to go one mile today? I'm almost as surprised as you are. In fact, I covered just over one and a half miles in 30 minutes today. Hey, I can't help it if I'm setting land-speed records....for tree sloths...

I'm actually super happy I got to run today!  (Ahem. I suppose I'm using the term "run" loosely, as noted by the aforementioned distance and time.) So at this pace, I will be able to cover an 8 mile hellish obstacle course after approximately 67 years of training.

Seems legit.

Here are the treadmills at my gym, looking all pretty and bright underneath the skylight:

                                                                        

Here's my treadmill. I didn't get a shot of me while using it because, duh, I can't jog and take my picture at the same time.

That's my drink! (You care.)

Annnnnd...voilà, la pièce de résistance (which is a fancy French way of saying "This is the cool part"): My mileage. Isn't technology awesome? The machine tells important things like how much ground I would have covered, had I been on the ground (and not on a, let's face it, slightly easier smooth surface with a moving track to keep me going), and it tells me how many calories I burned. Today it shows that I went over a mile and a half! Most of which was accomplished by actual running. Well, maybe half of which. Okay, not quite half, probably just under half. Possibly a third. But it was running. Okay, it was jogging. Almost speedwalking but not quite. It was definitely a jog, even if it was slow.

Jogging happened here today! Well, something happened.

At least it wasn't Galapagos Tortoise slow.

 

Victory and Defeat in the Time of 60 minutes

Didn't do a class today at the gym, instead went on my own with the surreptitious plan of trying a bit of a jog on the treadmill. Surreptitious, as in, I was going to try to sneak it in on the body before the knee could figure out what was going on and put an end to it. 

First, 30 minutes on the Nordic track machine: 

 

Music: Interpol, "Say Hello to the Angels" - Killers, "Sam's Town" (not the crappy acoustic version either!) - NIN, "Head Like A Hole" - Pink Floyd, "Run Like Hell" and AC/DC "Dirty Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap)"

After all good and worked out on this machine, I figured it was time. 

Time to get back on a treadmill. Time to take the knee out for a little jog.

I should've taken a picture of how pretty that treadmill looked, bathed in soft white light from the skylight above. I grinned to myself as I got on the machine and started it up. 

After a slow start, I punched it up to a whopping 4.5 mph. Found out the knee is most definitely NOT down with that plan. Slowed down, increased the incline. For the remainder of the workout I kept messing with incline and speed, to make it just challenging enough that I was actually working out and not just lollygagging along at a useless staring-at-the-art-in-a-museum pace. 

Towards the end of my 30 minutes, I had this great idea: I would sneak up the speed little by little, till a slow jog would be achieved.  

Hooray! This seems to have worked! My new theory now is that the knee has to be gently cajoled into a jog, and the slower the transition, the better.

So, imagine me, smiling like a fool, this huge triumphant grin on my face as I am jogging along at a positively glacial pace, when all of a sudden the machine stops. Out of the blue. How did this happen? Not smiling anymore. Stupid machine. What in the world?....

And I see it. I see it. The stupid thing that keeps the treadmill on. Most treadmills I've dealt with have a sort of key you insert into a slot, and that's what keeps it on. But noooo, not this one. This treadmill - apparently all of them at the gym - have instead a ridiculous little bobbly thing with a magnet on it that sticks onto this shallow indention. That's what keeps the machine on. It looks like a little Pokemon ball. Apparently I swiped that thing by accident - must've been while I was raising my arms in victory, like a runner completing a marathon - and that's what turned my machine off.

I was just a tad bit miffed at that point. I slapped the stupid machine with my towel, then went to ask the manager if the lost information could be retrieved. Because, you see, clearly the most important thing is not the workout, but that I can take a picture of the readout afterward. Alas, the manager told me what I already had guessed: that you can't get the information back once it's been turned off. 

Man.

But hey! I got to jog a little! That was kind of awesome.

 

Live from the grocery store: BIG NEWS!!!

Reached a milestone today....a slightly embarrassing one, but in a good way. More about that in a moment. 

The big news? That I got while leaving the grocery store?....I have been offered a job! It's for a full-time French position. Surprisingly, I think this is probably the PERFECT job for me this year. I'll be teaching French 1. That's it. Not French 2, no IB or AP French, just...French 1. It's surprising to me to think this is perfect, because for a long time I was soooo convinced I really wanted only to teach upper level French. But, see, upper level French usually means you're teaching French 2, 3, 4, and maybe 5, plus AP and/or IB French.

If you're a teacher - you will understand when I say that upper level French means I could have 5, 6 or even 7 preps. If you're not a teacher, well, let me just say that each prep requires a lot of work, so the more preps you have, the more work you have. Three or four preps is kind of a lot. More than that is nearly insane.That's why it's a blessing to have only one prep. Some teachers work for years to get to the point where they only have one or two preps. And that's why teaching upper level French would be a daunting proposition, as there would be SO many preps.

So I'll be teaching French 1, on a campus with what appears to be a very supportive administration, as well as a foreign language section leader I think I will really enjoy working for. I will be assigned a mentor - probably a real mentor, someone who is actually helpful and willing to spend time with me - and I will also be collaborating with other electives teachers during our mutual conference periods. This is SO different from my previous experience! 

Now, for the other news, which happened while I was still at the grocery store:  my shorts almost fell off me! Right there by the cheese and sandwich meat! I could feel my shorts sliding down, then a little more down, and I had to stop to actually pull them up so they wouldn't fall all the way down. Woo-hoo!

Now, if only I could get my thighs to stop rubbing together...